Vegetable
by XGotta3IceXD
Summary: What if the Uchiha and the Hyuuga weren't considered the most powerful clans out there, what if it was a clan that used vegetables as a weapon? Enter the Yasai clan. CRACK!


**Hey guys, this is my first one-shot, and my first crack-fic, if it could be called that. I hope you guys like it, I don't have a beta so I apologize for any and all mistakes that I may make. My inspiration for this fic came from when I was poking at a carrot at dinner…**

**Summary: What if the Uchiha and the Hyuuga weren't considered the most powerful clans out there, what if it was a clan that used vegetables as a weapon? Enter the Yasai clan.**

It was a well-known fact that all ninja were afraid of vegetables. A lesser known fact was that ninja took vitamin supplements and ate fruit instead of vegetables. But the least known fact of all was that there was a clan that specialized in techniques using vegetables.

One might ask why ninja were so afraid vegetables.

Who wouldn't be? They tasted horrible, and they were able to bring even the mightiest of ninjas to their knees. A good example would be when the founder of Yasai clan and the village hidden in the parsley, Kira Yasai brought the founders of Konohagakure, Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara to their knees in 2 Vs 1 combat.

Currently, the Yasai clan was a small but prosperous clan, each of the members (even the children) were ranked SS class (with a 'flee on sight' order similar to that of the Yondaime) in the bingo books of every nation due to their amazing control over vegetables. Each and every member of the Yasai clan had such a good control over vegetables that they could form kunais out of carrots and shuriken out of cabbage pieces. Some of the more skilled members could even form senbon from asparagus.

The Yasai clan was so powerful that they had their own small hidden village, the village hidden in the parsley. The clan even had many ninjustsu revolving around vegetables, some that were rumored to be so powerful that they could destroy the entire ninja world. 

This is the story of a 9 year old academy student named Azuki Yasai, and how she earned a SSSSS rank in the bingo books.

**Kakashi Hatake**

Azuki was lying on a hill by the river outside of her cottage, on the outskirts of her village when she first met Kakashi Hatake. He had stopped by the river for a drink and hadn't noticed her chakra due to her low chakra reserves.

Deciding to ask what he was doing, she sat up and asked "What are you doing?"

Startled, he jumped up from his crouching position and turned to face her while simultaneously pulling a kunai out of his pouch.

He lowered it when he saw that she was just a little kid. Curious, he asked "Why are you here?" before pulling out his infamous orange book.

She answered: "I live near here. What about you ?" while pulling out a carrot to eat.

Seeing her pull out a carrot, Kakashi's face grew deathly pale (though you couldn't see it through his mask), she was of the Yasai clan, he was sure of it! Only they would dare to touch a carrot! When she took a bite and offered one to him, he couldn't take anymore! A ninja could only take so much! So, he did the thing that any sane ninja would have done, he screamed like a little girl and ran.

Azuki had been hungry so she had pulled a carrot out of her pocket to eat before offering one to the weird masked ninja. He did the most unexpected thing, he dropped his book, screamed like a little girl and ran. Maybe he wasn't hungry?

'Oh well…more carrots for me'

**Neji Hyuga**

Azuki had been at one of her village's celery farms just outside of the village when she first met Neji Hyuga.

He had been tree hopping and had stopped when he saw her picking celery from the ground…then he fainted…while falling out of the tree headfirst.

Neji had been returning from a successful A rank mission when he hopped into a tree overlooking a clearing, where a girl was picking something from the ground.

Upon closer inspection with his byakugan, he saw that it was celery. So he did what any sensible Hyuga would have done, he fell out of the tree while simultaneously fainting.

**Sasuke Uchiha**

The first time Azuki had met Sasuke Uchiha, she had been spitting dried peas at random trees and had accidently hit him right in his right eye. She called out "Sorry!" then went back to spitting her dried peas at random trees.

After she had turned away, the ninja began crying at the new blindness in his right eye. The ninja screamed in fury at the loss of sight in his right eye, when she turned to face him again, he was stabbing and chidori-ing the dried pea on the ground, leaving only a large crater in the ground where the pea had fallen. She decided to play a joke on him and spat a pea in his direction, he screamed then ran.

**When Azuki was 12…**

She had decided that she hated pedos. She had met Orochimaru who decided to be a pedo and tried to hit on her. That was until he saw her hitae-ite (sp?) then, he decided to challenge her to a battle. She sighed and threw a piece of celery at him and watched as he ran away.

**When Azuki was 15…**

When Azuki was 15, she decided that she hated perverts after she met Jiraya of the Sannin when he tried peeping on her while she was bathing. She heard his giggling and through a carrot kunai into the bushes where he was and watched as he was never able to have children again.

**And that concludes the tale of how a vegetable ninja gained the rank of SSSSS in the bingo books.**

**END**

**Read and Review my cracky fanfic! XD**


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